


We Need to Talk

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Torture, Interrogation, No beta we fall like Crowley, Panic Attacks, Sanctum Sanctorum (Marvel), Self-Indulgent, more tags will be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:08:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22010845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Turn me into the Avengers, interrogate me, I don’t care, just let me out of this chair”Dr. Stephen Strange summons a tired, beaten, and annoyed goddess of lies, and he has a few questions about the battle of New York
Comments: 28
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey, this is not beta and written very late so please exudes any errors mostly self indulgent tbh

Loki woke up cuffed to a chair. 

_Well fuck_. This isn’t the best situation possible, but Loki had expirenced it before, and a least she wasn’t being assaulted with an onslaught of torture devices, so that was a plus. 

If she was able to calm down, maybe she could get out. Loki looked up and saw she was in a library, which was promising, until it clicked. 

Strange, you son of a bitch.

_Speak of the devil_ , she thought, as Dr. Stephen Strange entered the room.

“Well, it’s always nice to see you.” said the goddess of lies. 

“Such a pleasure, don’t you think?” asked Strange, raising an eyebrow. He conjured a tea set and sat down at the chair placed before the Asgardian.

“You know, we could talk like civilized people if you simply let me out of my bonds, said Loki. She acted like it was a casual gesture of her discomfort, but it went far deeper than that. She thought back to what happened last time she was imprisoned in a chair like this, and the pain that followed. 

_No_ , she thought sternly. This has nothing to do with that. He doesn’t know,  he can’t know. Either way, she can’t show weakness. She showed weakness before, and what had happened was completely her fault. 

“Mmh, I think not. It would be safer for both of us if you stayed where you are” said Strange with a smirk. 

Her breathing got faster, only hidden by the ounce of power Loki has left, stuck in this contraption. 

“I’d like to know about-“

“-the battle of New York? Well, I think you could ask any Midgardian over the age of 20 about that.” Loki finishes for him, praying to the Norns that he won’t ask her why she did it.

“I see even without your powers you prove to be well versed in the art of guessing. Yes, I do want information on the battle of New York, but I have more questions than that.” responded Strange, looking slightly surprised 

“Well,I’d be glad to answer them if you released me” said Loki, desperately trying to hide her panic and pushing back the memories. 

“ _To show weakness is to give up. You must never demonstrate fear if you aim to be strong_ ” her adoptive father’s voice rang through her head, reminding her that she can’t break as she had done before. 

Loki’s rapid breathing was then evident, as her fist clenched and unclenched. Her nails dug into her pale skin, drawing blood. 

**_By Frigga’s armor, why won’t he release her?_** She scans his face for any sign of enjoyment at her suffering, but it seems that concern has grown on Strange’s face. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, in a somewhat preoccupied tone. 

“Why would you care?” snarled Loki in response. “You take me from my home, in the middle of the night, tie me up, and then ask if I’m okay!?” 

Her voice raised considerably, showing her panic and anger.

She tried to steady her breathing, with no result. Loki regretted yelling, as it showed a feral, angrier side of her that most thought of. She finally spoke, her body shaking and said calmly: “Turn me into the Avengers, interrogate me, I don’t care, just let me out of this chair”.

She paused, looking at the floor, and added a quiet and mournful: P _ lease _ .

Strange, who seemed shaken by the whole ordeal, waved his hand, and the cuffs were gone.

Loki sat their quietly, and rubbed her wrist, carefully examining them, and the newer marks, mirrored over the older and deeper ones. 

_“What do you want to know?”_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i guess there’s a tw for dissociation?? i’m not exactly sure, but this is how i would describe how i dissociate?

Strange didn’t hesitate whatsoever, asking question after question about why she was here, what she was planning. if she intended to hurt the Avengers, and so on. 

Loki answered every question simply, in a bored tone, as if she had better things to do.

“I’m on Earth to help run the temporary settlement that Asgard has until they can establish a new home. I have no plans except to rebuild Asgard. I have no intent to hurt any of the Avengers. Is that all?”

"

“No, I actually have one more question." he paused, contemplating how she would respond "Why did you invade the city of New York?”

Loki’s eyes went blank, as if she was staring off into space. She didn’t feel like she was in control of herself, her body limp and brain empty. She could breathe just fine, but she felt like she was on autopilot, just a passenger in a vessel. Loki thought she would puke.

God, all the questions he could ask he decided to ask that. 

“I-“ she started, but her voice trailed off. 

“Mmh. Tough subject?” asked Strange, and he appeared interested, as if he expected Loki to go off into a long, villainous monologue. 

“Slightly.”

“Why?”

“I don’t owe you an explanation.” Loki felt her usual snark and attitude returning, feeling much more comfortable.

“Well, I think you owe the hundred-odd people you killed.”

Loki visibly flinched. 

There it was. 

“Well, maybe if those hundred-odd people new about the situation I was in, they’d be less demanding.”

“Oh, really? It’s not like you weren’t willing to do it, or didn’t do it with free will”

“Depends what your definition of free will is,” said Loki, without thinking of the consequences of her words.

Norns, why couldn’t she watch her tongue. She was reminded of that “Vine” the spider child showed her. How did it go? Ah yes, it said “When will you learn, when will you learn that your actions have consequences?!”. That seemed to be the gist of her internal monologue right about now.

“Ah, well, I’d describe free will as a complete choice or decision to do something without outside influences.” said the doctor, firmly and definitely, as if it ended any follow-up conversation. 

“Well, I guess being tortured and manipulated by the Mind stone means I didn’t do it out of my complete free will”.

Strange’s face was almost completely unreadable, but Loki could assume he was somewhere in between shock and confusion. 

“Can you,” began Strange, likely at a loss for words “explain?”

“Look, I don’t want or need your sympathy. Currently 4 people know and I don’t want that number to get any higher.”

She felt her stomach knotting and turning, as it was a piece of dough that a baker was kneading. 

Loki felt out of control once more, and she began to rub her left palm subconsciously, a sign of worry and fear since childhood. Her moth- Freya, she corrected herself, had the same twitch. 

Strange began to say something, but the goddess interrupted him. 

“Look, I’m exhausted and this truth spell is really draining me”. By the look on the doctor’s face she could tell that he hadn’t even considered what a truth spell may do to a goddess of lies.

She continued and said “If you let me leave and recharge I will gladly let you ask me any question in the comfort of my own home.”

Surprisingly, Strange agreed. She stood up from her chair and muttered a few words in Asgardian. The barrier surrounding them broke. Little did she know, but the whole Minoru family combined couldn’t have broken that barrier. 

She opened the door, and Brunnhilde was waiting there. 

“Why in the Nine fucking Realms did you not tell me where you were?” she said feigning anger. 

“Aren’t you glad to see me?”

_ “Like Hel I am.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i was really late im sorry


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, two chapters in one day after almost three weeks! sorry for the inconsistent updating schedule, i had some family issues but i decided to write to keep my mind off it. this is mostly filler to make up for not updating in weeks, so it’s not essential to the plot. this is also flashback in brun’s perspective just to clear things up

Brunnhilde woke up in bed alone. This wasn’t unusual of course. Sometimes she would go work out, usually on the roof of her apartment, and Loki may be doing whatever magic nerd shit they always did.

But today was different. It seemed like there was an absence in the spacious apartment. Unsurprisingly, Loki has found a way to convert Asgardian currency to Midgardian, and since they had stolen a considerable amount of money from the treasury, the couple had enough money to buy a nice apartment in the Tribeca area and were able to commute back and forth from New York to New Asgard with ease.

She called out their name multiple times and eventually resorted to yelling "Lackey" over and over again since it deeply annoyed them. 

She plopped onto the sofa with a sigh. Where the Hel were they? It’s not like she could call anyone. The only person that knew they were alive was Nebula, and she was off-planet for some trading thing. Norns, she was worried. Of course, Loki was a literal deity, but that didn’t matter. They were only a few mortal years younger than her, and the older Asgardians were debating whether **she** was fit to rule. 

What if they got in trouble? What if the Avengers had taken them? What if?

She stopped the ongoing train of questions, but worry still filled her mind. Too many things could’ve happened. 

Brunnhilde decided to start simple. Who could she trust? Obviously not the Avengers, but maybe someone who wasn’t officially part of the group. Someone who wouldn’t ask too many questions. Only one name popped up.

Dr. Stephen Strange. 

She had met him when there was a sort of tryout for the avengers with those who had helped kill Thanos. Tony Stark had miraculously survived and decided to add to the ever-growing superhero team. She turned the offer down, but the noticed that Strange had as well. Maybe he didn’t want to be associated with the Avengers, which made him more trustworthy than most. 

Brunnhilde grabbed her jacket and put it over the workout shirt she had stolen from Loki and exited the apartment. When she stood out on the street, she realized she had no idea where the Sanctum was. Brunnhilde had heard of it from others, but she had never personally visited it. She whipped out her phone and texted Bruce. 

* * *

Conversation between Small Anxious Scientist + Tall Drunk Jock

Brunnhilde: Do you know where the Sanctum is?

Bruce is texting…

Bruce: Why do you want to know?

Brunnhilde: …

Bruce: Ok, ok I’m texting the directions now. 

Bruce sent an attachment: Map

Brunnhilde: Thanks! You’re the best

* * *

She plugged her earphones in and began to jog toward the home of Stephen Strange. 

_ Norns, that emo better not die on me.  _


	4. Chapter 4

Brunnhilde and Loki walked back to their apartment in relative silence, and when they arrived, Brunnhilde went onto the roof and Loki plopped onto the sofa and changed into a more androgynous form. 

It was so much easier to be without gender and they didn’t have to concentrate on what length of hair they had or what their voice sounded like. Sometimes they wished they could just be a genderless blob in space, without worry or fear. Loki hated that they had to constantly move around, changing locations and running from whatever threat or consequence they had to face. With the whole Strange debacle, they would probably have to move in a month or so, at the very best.

They would hate moving, although they were used to it at this point. Brunnhilde couldn't come, of course, she had a whole group of people to look over, and Nebula was already helping to find locations for a new settlement of Asgard, so it would be unreasonable to ask to go.

Loki didn’t even try to get up. That truth spell had been so draining, it was like someone telling her to breathe underwater for an hour. They could tell that being in a barrier under a truth spell was obviously taking a toll on their control of magic. Loki felt that their pocket portals where they stored their assorted objects, such as clothes and different weapons in a pinch, was getting less and less stable. 

They turned on their side and began tracing runes in the air. It was nothing complicated, but the simple motions helped her calm down. 

Then, of course, their mind began to go places they’d rather forget, because why should they ever be allowed relative calmness. Memories began to flow back to her, all too dark and desperate. 

Loki groaned and turned again. Norns, they hated truth spells. They seemed to suck the life out and leave them an empty shell. Truth spells put you in a weaker mindset and a weaker will. It felt like a metaphorical knife had stabbed her. 

_No, wait_. A real knife had entered their body. They could assume that one of the many daggers in their pocket portals had slipped out, but that wasn’t important now. Loki was in a weak state, their sedir wasn’t working. Wonderful. 

They struggled to stand up, and immediately regretted it, but the stumbled toward the bathroom and grabbed the bandages off the counter. Loki slid down, their back to the wall and their eyes began to flutter closed. 

They heard footsteps down the stairs and a voice. 

_ “Lackey?” _


	5. Chapter 5A

hey y’all, i’m so sorry that i haven’t updated in a while. i have a really bad cold so i’ll probably update by late feb


	6. 6A

_hey y’all i still feel shitty so here’s this out-of-fic training scene i wrote for my friend_

“You’re off guard.”

Brunnhilde spun and struck Loki’s abdomen, pushing them back across the roof. She had suggested the spar on the roof, and since they both needed to get some pressure out, they decided to set out some mats and fight.

“Oh, and how do you know that?” Loki said as they quirked their eyebrow up.

“You have too many blind spots, and I’ve landed a hit to you already. So, you’ve got something on your mind”

“Wow, and I thought I was supposed to be the smart one”

Loki got up and gripped Brunnhilde’s shoulders, slamming her onto the ground and straddling her body between their thighs.

“Rude!” scolded Brunnhilde as she grabbed their waist and turned them on their back, switching their positions.

Loki summoned a knife and held it against Brunnhilde’s neck, which in response caused her to flip back, kicking Loki in the neck as she landed a few feet away.

“No weapons, remember?”

“Oh, sorry” said Loki as they banished the knife to whatever pocket dimension it came from.

Both of them stumbled to their feet and ran towards each other, Brunnhilde gripping Loki's wrist and pushing them against her, arm outstretched.

“Something is bothering you, isn’t it?”

Loki twisted their arm and thrust their back against Brunnhilde, causing her to drop her grip.

She spun around and knocked them to the ground again.

“Can we just fight? Emotions get in the way.”

“Fine, but if I can pin you down for a minute, you have to try to talk to me.”

“Why are we doing this again?” said Loki with a groan.

“Because I care about you, you stupid bitch.”

“Coming out with the insults, aren’t we?” said Loki as they jumped up and kicked Brunnhilde in return.

She got up and charged towards Loki, but they swept her leg, causing Brunnhilde to fall once more.

Loki walked over to her and touched her nose teasingly.

“I win.”

Brunnhilde kicked up and nailed Loki in their knee, and straddled herself over their body again.

“No, I win.”


	7. Chapter 7

Brunnhilde leaned against the door, a sinking feeling in her stomach. 

“I- Please tell you didn’t” her voice trailed off, cracking. 

“Oh no, if I wanted to off myself I’d jump off the Bifrost again” said Loki, who made a feeble attempt at a joke. 

Brunnhilde cringed slightly and walked over to Loki, sitting on the floor next to them. 

“How did this happen then?” asked Brunnhilde, concern filling her as she eyed the wound. In response, Loki just waved their hand slightly. 

“Should I pull out the knife?”

“I’m not sure. I mean, it’s not like I can waltz into the hospital, and it isn’t a large wound.”

Neither of them knew what to do, so Brunnhilde concluded on pulling out the knife and wrapping the injury.

Bright blue blood poured out of the wound, but she was able to put bandages on before the bleeding came too much to handle.

Loki shifted their body and put their back against the wall, head leaning back with their eyes closed as they breathed in roughly.

Brunnhilde looked them up and down with suspicion.

”Usually injuries don’t hurt you this much, right?”

”Well, slap a truth spell on the god of lies and the effects will be questionable.”

She didn’t have a response for this, so they sat in silence for a while, until Loki lifted themselves up and returned this their position on the sofa. Brunnhilde followed in suit, sitting gently next to them, but sitting up after a while.

”Well, I’m going to return to punching a bag instead of dealing with my issues. You’ll be good?”

Loki gave a reserved hmm and picked up a book.

”Love you” said the Valkyrie as she ascended the stairs to the roof.

_Love you._

That has been the first time anyone had said that to them. Sure, Frigga and Thor had said it to them, but never romantically.

_Love you_.

**Author's Note:**

> please comment any feedback or praise! this is what keeps writers going! you can find me at @mistletoe-dart on tumblr


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